25 Dad Jokes Guaranteed To Make No One Laugh

I LOVE Dad Jokes… here are some you can use today!  (laughs not guaranteed)

“What’s the best time go to the dentist?” – Tooth-hurty (2:30)

“What do you call a cow with no legs?” – Ground Beef

“What was the baby computer’s first word?”  – Data (dada)

“Two guys walked into a bar, the third one ducked”

“What do you call a fish with no eye?” – A fsh

“Why did the girl mushroom go on a date with the guy mushroom?” – He was a fun-guy

“You heard of that new band 1023MB?” – They haven’t got a gig yet

“Why did the crab never share?” – Because he’s shellfish

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!”

“Want to hear a joke about paper?” – Nevermind it’s tearable

“Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?” – Because they have no body to go with

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?” – Nacho Cheese

“What do you call a fat psychic?” – A four-chin teller

“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?” – It was two tired

“Dad, did you get a haircut?” – No I got them all cut

“What do you call a fake noodle?” – An Impasta

“Why did the coffee file a police report?” – It got mugged

“I’m not addicted to brake fluid… I can stop whenever I want”

“What do prisoners use to call each other?” – Cell phones

“Dad can you put my shoes on?” – I don’t think they’ll fit me

“I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro, it’s a total rip-off”

“I’d like to give a shout out to all the sidewalks, for keeping me off the streets”

“Where do you learn how to make ice cream?” – Sunday School

“Don’t truest atoms, they make up everything.”

Hope you guys enjoyed the dad jokes, again… if you use any of these, you’re almost guaranteed to NOT get laughs, so use with caution and there will be more coming soon! 😀

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